Dear Women Who Don’t Want Children

/ September 15, 2015

Dear Women Who Don't Want Childrenf

Is there something wrong with you? Nope, you just don’t want children, holy shit, what? Someone who doesn’t want children? Well, clearly we must rake these women over the coals and make them feel like crap. Let me clear my schedule, I wasn’t penciled in to destroy anyone today.

Ok, I have some time now.

How dare you not want children? (How about for a thousand reasons that I won’t understand.)

This makes me laugh and want to strangle my mother, your mother and maybe an aunt or two.

Not everyone is set out to have children, if you don’t want them, please don’t have them. Don’t have children to please some dried up old bitch in your family.

Do your thing. It’s your life.

PS: Not everyone wants children, children are scary, children suck. Those that have children are crazy.

 

 

 

 

Dear Women Who Don't Want Children

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206 thoughts on “Dear Women Who Don’t Want Children”

  1. Wow! I totally understand this as we were married for quite a while before we had kids. Incredible just how many people felt it was OK to ask us what our plans were (& then no doubt judge us either way). #FartGlitter

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    • I agree… I have boys…yes boys! Who will someday be men. Yikes! Ages 2 and 5, so if I’m not crazy yet. I will be. lol I don’t judge anyone for not having kids. I thought I wouldn’t either. I was 32 when I had my first. Live your life, if your happy without kids, then be happy without kids! People will always judge about something. I older I get the less I care about what people think and the happier I am!

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  3. I have no problem with women who don’t want kids. I think it’s important to know if you do or you don’t. It’s the ones who are wishy-washy about the entire thing that worry me. But if you do not want kids, and you are sure…absolutely sure….that you do not ever want kids…then when you are 46 years old and your best friend has kids and you don’t and you are alone living with two cats, do NOT complain about being alone and tell your friend that she “has no idea what it’s like being alone” and blah blah blah and send her texts all the time in the middle of the night about how her life is so “peachy” while your life is sad and how you wish you had children or grandchildren, etc…..yeah, I have a friend like that and she drives me bonkers. She did not want kids. She ALWAYS said that. She stuck to that. But now? She’s living in an apartment with her two kitties and she is NOT happy. And I just want to scream at her, “But you didn’t WANT kids! So it’s no one’s fault but your own.” Now, I know most people who don’t want kids do not end up with this kind of attitude….all I’m saying is that if you do end up regretting it one day, do NOT take it out on your friends who DID decide to have kids. Because that’s just not cool.

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    • WOW! Did you ever think that she said she didn’t want children because she couldn’t have them or that she did not find anyone that she wanted to have children with? If you are truly a good friend you would ask her to be happy with her life the way she planned it and not to complain about it to you. Not complain on-line about how your “friend” drives you bonkers. THAT’s just not cool. 😦

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    • Wow, with you as a friend who needs an enemy? Maybe she isn’t physically able to have kids and her saying she didn’t want then was a defense mechanism to cover her pain. If she “drives you bonkers” then maybe you shouldn’t be her friend. Getting online to shit talk your “friend” is not cool.

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      • Gotta say I am one that was not big on the idea of kids…but it was a possibility with the RIGHT (not just any!) man.
        Never met him…I could be ok with some as a lover, boyfriend. whatever…but as Father and breadwinner? NONE deserved that gift from me so none got it, that bar was set high by my own Father and until I was 46 none were worthy. I am totally Ok with my choice, better than being left on the hook with a bunch of kids and no man or a jobless man or an ex man who does not pay support or see his kids and breaks their hearts!

        Liked by 3 people

    • It goes the other way too! I don’t have kids and live a great life….many friends with kids “accuse” me of having a perfect life. I get to travel, have sex on the couch at 5 pm and have amassed a pretty sizable nest egg….they say they wish they could do all those things. “But you WANTED kids! So it’s no one’s fault but your own.”

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    • Yours is an honest point — birds of a feather must fly together. In this case, my feathered friends of choice are those who don’t judge me, just want me to be happy. The honest ones among us review our lives, muse aloud …

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  4. Whether or not you want kids is entirely up to you. But if you’re in a relationship don’t lie to the other person about wanting / not waning them or hope the other person will change their minds. It never ends well.

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  5. It is very true that people who have children are crazy, you’d have to be. My boys drive me mad most days. I completely respect a woman’s choice not to have children even though I don’t understand it. There are many things I don’t understand and that does not mean they are wrong. Like you said, it’s your choice, your life. xx
    #fartglitter

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  6. I don’t know how many times I was told I was selfish because I didn’t want children….
    I finally got to where I’d say, “No, I’m not selfish at all because I’m honest and responsible enough to know I don’t want them so I don’t bring unwanted children into the world. Selfish are the women who don’t want them, won’t admit it to themselves or others, then pop them out for all the wrong reasons, only to ignore, neglect, resent, not teach or discipline, and pawn them off on everyone and anyone else.” I’ve seen this SO many times. If a person loves kids and wants to have them, FANTASTIC! If she doesn’t, that’s absolutely fantastic too! I love kids, I just didn’t want to be a parent. I borrow my nieces and nephews all the time and I’m quite happy to be the favorite Aunt. 🙂

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    • from all of us women who don’t want kids( me being one) its not right to be ripped up the ass for it, hell, its unfair, I am neither selfish nor anything else, ive seen enough episodes with kids to know that I FORSURE don’t want them.. a friend of mine has kids and one morning, while I was over he over filled his diaper ALL OVER HER JEANS I literally threw up in my mouth an that is just ONE story. if anyone wants a baby or what you refer to as a (“GIFT” im laughing hysterically at that ) get a VERY high matience dog first see how you handle that, OR even better take FULL care of a family members baby ( by urself, see how you do!) if a woman doesn’t want kids LEAVE HER ALONE ABOUT IT

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      • Here’s one. My niece threw up cheerios all over my sister’s face. was in her nose and mouth. If you just say “cheerios” to my sister, she turns green.

        Great comment!!! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

    • to me it’s the women who have kids just to ‘tick off a box’ that are selfish. I happen to know one and it’s her poor child who suffers while she ignores him and lives her life like comes first. He’s not a very happy kid. I think the most important thing about having a kid or not having a kid is knowing where YOU lie on the issue – and not society, your Mom or anyone else. It’s not for everyone.

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  7. Yes!!!! THANK YOU for putting this out there! If I don’t want children it’s MY business and for MY reasons. Why bring a child into the world if I don’t want one?! Thanks for sharing on the Small Victories Sunday Linkup.

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  8. Sometimes we say we don’t want children because we are particular about who we want to have children with OR we can’t have them. Not every woman can have children. Maybe we have to take medications and our doctors have told us that it is not wise to get pregnant while on these meds because they harm the fetus. So we get scared. We don’t find a suitable mate, we are not fertile, we have to take a low dose chemo drug that could harm a pregnancy. Sometimes we don’t want to talk about those things so we just say that we don’t want children so we don’t have to explain to rude people why we don’t want them. If I would have met my husband when I was in my 20’s I would have wanted to try to have children with him….but I am too old now and on some whacked out medications. Meh to those that don’t understand why we don’t want children…..It is not yours to understand. #sadthisisstillanissue.

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  9. Too many people having children that have ZERO business having them in the first place. If you don’t want children then the people judging you are fools! It takes a boatload of effort to raise one! It doesn’t make you selfish not wanting any, and family or friends that want to bemoan the fact can get over it.

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  17. I am a mom by choice, trust me I have had days where I wonder if I was sane when I decided to have children. I blame it on those damned hormones. Seriously, to those women who have made a choice to not have kids I respect your decision. Whatever drove them to that decision is none of my business. But trust me these women make great aunties, sitters, will come visit just to be with your kids, will love your kids. Who didn’t love an auntie who spoiled and had sleep overs. Peace and love.

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  19. Totally agree, if you don’t want kids don’t have them and don’t feel bad or make excuses for your decision – it is your business. But, word of advice – if you don’t want kids and you have them anyway and as they grow and become old enough to understand don’t tell them you never wanted kids. Don’t tell them when your daughter is lying in the hospital after having a still born that she should go home and forget this stupid baby business and get a dog instead. Don’t continually tell them at every opportunity that comes up that if you could do it all over, you would not have children, because you never wanted them and you should have gotten a dog because they are easier to raise – Just don’t – because you know what – at 57 those words still hurt.

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  23. I can’t have children and actually wouldn’t want any.. I’m not baby friendly they scare me.. and all my Besties love to shove there baby in my arms.. but soon as that baby cries *yo mommy it’s all yours.!!!!*. I love love love children but I don’t have the mommy bone in me.. I have tons of nieces an nephews an i see them all the time an get to love them up. Even with medical problems that stop me from having children .. not on my bucket list.. my child has four legs cold wet nose and she is my unconditional love. So for people that have issues with others choices ..back off..

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  24. I have children and I love them very much, but I am SO glad they are all almost grown now. They have worn me out. Their father turned into a substance abusing nut job of course after they were born leaving me to have to completely provide everything for their entire life. I’m glad I have them and my grown one is like a best friend, but if you are not sure, know for sure you don’t want them, or have a partner that you question in ANY way whether they are going to remain stable throughout their life…unless you are prepared to work your ass off and be mom and dad don’t have them. It is VERY hard

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  29. I completely agree with this. If you want kids – great. If you don’t want kids – great. Do what makes you happy, do what feels right. #stayclassymama

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  30. A couple of my friends got married last year and they have said how annoying it is that everyone now presumes they should be trying for a baby. Having children is a personal preference, people shouldn’t feeling pressured into doing something just because it’s what’s expected of them! #stayclassymama

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  31. having children is a huge decision and a big responsibility. I think people should have babies when they are ready and not because everyone is having babies around them.
    Having a baby changes your life forever (for the best in my opinion, I’m a mum to a 15 months old and love it.) #stayclassymama

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  33. LOL I totally agree with you! Children are so overrated. I grew up knowing I’m not the type of person that would have kids. People always say those that don’t want kids are selfish which I totally disagree. I think it’s the other way around. They have kids just to satisfy themselves for their own entertainment or fulfillment. At least I’m not bringing an innocent life into this horrible cruel world lol.

    BTW, thank you for the follow! 🙂

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  35. So true, I still remember how much I was hounded after marriage to like pop a child out in seconds, and I was not ready at all I knew what I wanted and never let it get to me. Now after my first child, I still hear when are you getting the next one? Like really? How is that that anybody’s business,I do me and will never let anyone dictate what I should do with my life. For the women who don’t want kids, it’s your decision and your life don’t be judged to how you choose to live your life. Great post

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  36. The Mrs. and I got the “are you gonna have any kids” question for nearly 20 years after we got married. We were called selfish, told that we didn’t know what we were missing, and given all kinds of reasons why others wanted us to have kids in our lives.

    The worst was when a bunch of “mean girls” (expectant mothers) visibly ostracized my wife at a social gathering. They literally made a circle of chairs and blocked her out. It didn’t bother her as much as it bothered me, but we found a new social group, and always found a way to be busy when those baby shower announcements came in the mail.

    Jokes on them. I love my paid-for everything and my piles of cash that isn’t going toward college tuition or weddings…or graduation and wedding gifts for their kids! LOL

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